John Clasky: Worrying about your kids is sanity, and being that sane... can drive you nuts.
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John Clasky: Just do it or I'll light my hair on fire and start punching myself in the face! [Walks away, reconsiders]
John Clasky: That probably wasn't the best way to get make myself clear, was it?
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Gwen: I admire you for your feelings, and hope to adopt them as my own.
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Deborah Clasky: [upon hearing John's car pull into the driveway] Do I need to put on make-up?
Evelyn Norwich: You need a hose, but we don't have that kinda time.
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John Clasky: [after hearing that his wife's been cheating on him] I couldn't hear you. There was a crack in the planet. WOW... that was noisy!
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