I never thought I would get a serious boyfriend.
I never thought I would get married.
So here I am 15 months married and now I'm having thoughts I never thought I would have:

To be a mom or not to be a mom.

It was never a deal breaker for Kevin & I if we did or did not have children. We're not ready right now to even make that decision but it's been on my mind a lot lately. I may not even be able to conceive a child. I'm not ready to make a decision right now. Do I want to know right know if I can or cannot carry a baby? Or is this just hitting me because I know so many pregnant women?

I've never been the type to yearn to be a mother but now?

I'm curious what a child of ours could look like and at times Kevin does such cute things it makes me want mini versions of him!

For now, I'm good. But I am curious for all those couples out there that have chosen not to have children. How did you come to that decision? I would love to hear!

(Note: These are our baby photos!!)

A fat rant.

I'm just finishing up a movie on W Network and well, it's got my goat! The premise of the movie is a skinny gorgeous chick dresses up in a fat suit to do an undercover documentary about obesity. Even before I've finished the movie I have a beef. (And yes, pun intended).

There is way too many stereotypes in this movie, all the cliches.

Not all fat people eat a chocolate bar(s) every day. Not all of us binge on a regular basis. Not of
of us make horrible food choices.

Some of us eat well, healthy even. Some of us struggle with any kind of weightloss due to hormonal imbalances. Some of us are honestly "big boned" (and tall!!) with a little extra weight. Some of us can't just instantly lose weight with a diet change (or lifestyle change, same shit, different name).

For me? It took me working out 6-7 hrs a week to lose any weight. I had no life, it was work, workout and sleep. I had to pay a lot of money to get that fit (gym membership, personal training fees and a lot of time). I changed a bit of my eating habits which mostly involved switching from mini wheats to oatmeal. And also cutting back on lattes. In that time of 6 months I lost 27 pounds, that's all. I gained muscle and dropped some fat BUT, get this. I was labelled athletic when I finished my training. At still over 220lbs I was actually at a cardio level of an athlete.

(Side note: I am sorry to say but sometimes financials play a huge part in weight loss. It's really hard to eat well on not a lot of money. I crave working out but I can't afford a gym and free weights are not enough. The only thing I can control right now is my diet and I am! Don't even get me started on how shift work makes it very difficult because I work around that with slow cooker meals, lean proteins and packing a good dinner.)

It took me a long time to believe in myself thanks to a lot of mean children around me growing up. I never felt like I fit in to my group of "friends" in high school either especially the normal sized girls who would throw around words like "sexy" and "goddess". How at 16 does someone feel that way? 12 years later I finally understand that after years of building my own confidence and also having someone in my life who loves me inside and out. But that's a whole other story! :P

I believe that genes to play a bit of a part in the weight thing too. I have the shape of a linebacker. I see pics of my late grandma and I see a lot of physical similarities. Broad shouldered with a lack of a defined waist. Tnankfully my hips have finally filled out so I look less like a box now. (Can you say really late bloomer?!)

Anyways, what I want to say is that people need to be more open minded and less judgemental about some of us who do struggle with our weight. For some of us it isn't a simple fix. We are also not ignorant. Kevin & I know that we need to lose weight and we're working on it and finding out what works for us. Some days it has to take a backburner due to work schedules, lack of funds for healthier meals or just being socially busy. Everything takes time and energy, there is no magical answer.

I'm hoping in the new year that with a better job I can have the revenue to start taking cardio classes again and hit the gym with my honey. I have no desire to grow old and fat! :P

I'll never be skinny, I know that but I can be healthy and I'm working on that. Wish me luck!

Every once in a while I get an email to my inbox about the chance to do a book review. I usually pass because the books don't jump out at me but recently one did. It was claimed to be a controversial book on marriage written by a pastor and his wife. I signed up to get a copy.

Real Marriage: The Truth about Sex, Friendship and Life Together
by Mark & Grace Driscoll.

So here I sit after finishing the book and well, I have mixed feelings about it.

First of all, there is some "gold nuggets" (to quote an old pastor of mine) of advice and information. There is also a really great chapter on how to be friends with your spouse but the rest? It became apparent that this book is meant for couples in difficult marriages that need some redeveloping. I also started to get defensive in my mind especially the way the authors pushed their beliefs. (No ones beliefs are identical so I do bare that in mind)

I feel that the book lacks real guidance for marriage and that matches with today's society. I've been married for 15 months and not much in this book spoke to me. Society is no longer filled with the "neutral" family nor is it the norm. Not all of us get married to start a family right away. How about some modern scenarios such as how about dealing with real issues like working through finances, struggling with finding full filling employment or deal with with family crisis and grief? They've missed so many other real life struggles that are the core of building a life together and being a unit of one.

This book is not controversial or maybe it is because it's not and people are talking about it? The honesty from the authors is commended but the book doesn't flow well nor feel like a good book on marriage - it's mostly about the bad stuff, the hard stuff. I was expecting more, more about love then "doing" things to please each other. I know that marriage is not sunset and roses all the time but this book leaves out the joys. I was hoping this book was going to talk about having a healthy marriage, how to work together and about how fantastic sex is for a marriage!

The sex chapter in this book was not helpful at all! I was hoping they'd give advice to those who don't have much experience how to do things not just talk about sex related topics (eg. birth control, sexual assault, annal sex). So many Christians are clueless about love making! Something so carnal yet people think it's gross or made solely for procreation. Couples need to be intimate very often. We need those "pillow talk" times especially when the rest of life might be off balance. The chapter needed to be less technical and more real about the issues people struggle with in this department. Writing with feelings instead of stats would have been much appreciated.

Where is there discussion on topics about romancing? On communicating? About how you should talk to your spouse about everything! Or the importance of just being together doing nothing? Marriage shouldn't be as hard as they make it sound especially if you learn early on to be selfless and put your spouse above yourself.

I wish I had better things to say, I hoped for it. I will not be recommending this book even to those I know struggling in their marriage. This book is too negative.

But this is my opinion, maybe no one else will agree. This is just my gut reaction.

"Advanced Reader's Copy of the book has been provided courtesy of Thomas Nelson and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc. Available at your favourite bookseller from Thomas Nelson"

Kevin is currently watching a made for tv movie which is slightly too suspenseful for me. But watching parts of it got me thinking again. Thinking about writing. (The main character is an author struggling with writer's block by the way). By no means do I think myself a linguist but at times I feel like I have a lot to say. Maybe I need to just stick to blogging that has a very limited audience. I don't think I am smart enough to write fiction, I've always been one more for person reflection and growth. Who wants to read yet another self help book? And what story do I really have to tell? Or am I sitting (figuratively) on a story of which I am just no aware of yet?

I read a lot (especially lately). I love search-word puzzles. I love to type. I used to write poetry. Actually I still do...sort of. It's more descriptive paragraphs but I do. The latest is definitely one written so mushy it is only for my hubby's eye's at the moment!

So what is my story? And how is it different than many other stories already been told? A girl born and raised in the country, goes off to College, graduates, moves to a big tri-city, after a good chunk of years meets the man of her dreams and gets married? There is a lot more "meat" between those milestones though. Great joy and sorrow. Cancer. Family drama. Spirituality. Conflict. Identity crisis.

There are a lot of things I feel like I missed learning about growing up. Education which to me would be deemed necessary to know in life. I don't blame parents, I don't really blame anyone. Circumstance, tradition, location. They all played a part in who I am today and as time moves on, I keep changing.

I don't know if I need to explore this or just blog once in a while to get it off my chest?

Do I have a story worth telling?

I've had a lot of time off work lately which means I have more time on my hands. What do with that time besides the regular dishes and cooking, reading of course! I have read more books in the past 3 months then I have in the past 4 years.

Back story. I grew up in a Christian bubble. I only read Christian material. (Ok, so I read the odd bodice ripper in high school, curiosity!). For 4 years I worked in the Christian book market. I stopped reading for a long time due to life just happening. I was always lost in libraries unless I could find a Christian author.

Here I am today. Thanks to a new friend and just pulling random books from the shelves I have discovered a love for different genres, finding authors I dig. I always felt guilty for reading non-Christian books for years but I've changed. (Plus, to be honest, there is a lot of Christian books that are just fluff or super unrealistic but that's a whole other rant!).

This morning I just put down a book I tore thru in the past two days.

The Last Letters from Your Lover
It's a romantic story that spans 40 years, a couple who fell in love but lost connection through life changes, heart ache, circumstances and society. It's beautiful, and the story is woven so well that it makes you keep flipping to the next page. A few tears streamed down my face at the end, such a sweet ending. Only side note: pay attention to the dates at the beginning of the chapters especially in part 1. I hope to read more books from this author!










Other books I have enjoyed to my surprise:
Divergent
This is a young adults read so not something I would normally pick up. Thanks to a new friend of mine, she has me hooked and wanting more books in this genre - Dystopian.
An easy read with a great story about the journey of a young female choosing her destiny. Lots of actions, emotions, sweet moments and also a girl kick'n butt which I love!
Unfortunately I think I have to wait until next year for the next book from this author! This also means I need to get reading the Hunger Games but the waiting list at the Library is insane!









Another author I am digging is Janet Evanovich! I have tore thru the two books I had of hers and I'm hoping to pick up some more today.

Here's to more great reads!! (And random book pulling from the shelves!) :D

Lately I have been reading some marriage blogs. Hey, I'm a newlywed, I need advice! Not just because we didn't get a whole lot of premarital counselling but because of the lack of guidance/examples in my life. (That's changing though, becoming friends with couples
who have been married a lot longer then us).

A big topic in our lives is birth control/family planning. I am on the pill and have to be
due to my PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome). So in a way I'm helping my issue and also not
getting pregnant (also PCOS means I may not even be able to have kids, talk about complicated).
I found a blog post today on birth control methods. Yes the blog was from a Christian
women and author so it's a tad religious but she was honestly laying out birth control
options for couples. But the comments? WOW. Women angry that couples don't consider using
"God" as birth control. That it's up to Him to bless you with or without a child. This angers
me so much!! I have a good friend who cannot conceive and it's hurting her. It has nothing
to do with her faith but with hormonal and other issues going on in her body. It's not God
punishing her for some sin or anything. Biology has a lot to play in this picture. Who knows
what the future has in store? A healthy hormonal body, a child in a couple years, adoption,
etc. Who are we to know except have trust in God with our heart's desire such as having a child.

I also find this irresponsible using "God" as a contraceptive. Some couples may not
want children for various reasons (too many to get in to) and they shouldn't be judged. We
are also living in a very unstable world right now! Life has changed so much since our parents
had us - many people getting married later in life, having careers over getting married or
just finding love late in life. I know there is never a perfect time to have a child but
I think having a bit of a plan, putting away funds would make life a lot easier if a child
does come along. I remember my parents raising 4 girls, the struggles, the hand me downs, the
stress of making sure food is on the table. Maybe some of us don't want to put a child
through that.

Right now I am on the fence. Maybe a child down the road maybe not. My body may not even
be able to carry a child. I'm not ready to make the decision right now. Kevin's career
moves him around a lot, I'm currently unemployed. Not a smart time to have a child! (Don't
read into this, I am so no even ready to think about popping one out! :P)

A side note: Sex is more than procreation!! (I could RANT about this so much!) I knew someone
once who told me sex was for the man and baby making, that's it. *sigh* Talk about an unhealthy
understanding of the role sex plays in marriage! (Which sadly has a lot to due with lack of education at home and from the church)

Everyone has their beliefs, I get that but forcing it on others?! I don't agree with that.
Explaining your beliefs is fine too but don't get angry! Think a little about the struggles
some others may be going through. Be sensitive! Some people can't just have a baby.

I am very happy I don't have pressure from neither my parents or in-laws. I also go to a church that doesn't judge me for not having a child as soon as we were married. I'm fortunate!

I think I'm done ranting...for now! :P

I know it's been a long time since I blogged - so much has happened in the past year it's almost unbelievable!

In the past 6 months or so my hubby has started to look for other work. We thought we had an in to a job in Yellowknife. Yup, I said it. Yellowknife. Both sets of parents were supportive. I was conflicted. We got word last week that the job is officially off the table (position changed). I am mixed about it - I was scared but also looking forward to an adventure. Door closed.

Today another door was pushed open...again but we said no. It was the possibility of going back to Goderich. We love that town but for our own well being, it wouldn't be the right choice. Financially, professionally and economically. Our favourite spots in town are gone, the town is suffering while they recover from the tornado damage... it wouldn't be the same. Plus I wouldn't be able to find work! (Tried last year around this time, it was impossible). Definitely confirmation that we made the right choice moving to Wasaga. Plus apparently Kevin's boss gave him the giant sad puppy eyes asking him to please stay! :P

While I am tucking my hubby in for his daily nap we got talking about the future. If we had made the right decisions. That I should have more faith that I will find a better job. (The resort I work at is in shoulder season - I've been off work for 2 weeks). Both of us tired of being tight on money all the time. Kevin has more faith then I do and I was just about to say that I wish I had his faith when the phone rang.

Friends of ours (new friends who we really love hanging out with) called asking if we needed any help at all with me being out of work lately. I almost cried. We came into their minds so they just called us up. My respect and love for this couple just grew huge!

To me this is God giving me a big wave reminding me the He is right here and always will be. That I need to stop doubting, to stop expecting the worst. I know that God gives us the desire of our heart*, I just need to learn to be patient!



*Desires of our heart? God knew deep down I wanted to find the love of my life and get married. He granted that and unexpectedly. He can do that for my career too I am sure! :)

Your genuine action will explain itself, and will explain your other genuine actions. Your conformity explains nothing. The force of character is cumulative. – Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

If ‘the voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tacks,’ then it is more genuine to be present today than to recount yesterdays. How would you describe today using only one sentence? Tell today’s sentence to one other person. Repeat each day.

(Author: Liz Danzico)

RESPONSE:

My day started out anxiously and ended happy with the smell of the beach still lingering on my skin!

You just discovered you have fifteen minutes to live.

1. Set a timer for fifteen minutes.
2. Write the story that has to be written.

(Author: Gwen Bell)

RESPONSE:

I would grab Kevin, run to the beach and watch the sunset. We'd sit on a blanket, holding hands, and affirming our love for each other. I'd have my last taste of chocolate. There would be tears, a lot of tears. A longing of not wanting to let go, to pinch myself that it wasn't true. 15 minutes is not enough time to say goodbye to my husband let alone my family and friends...*sniffles*

--------

I don't want this to happen, I don't want to know. And I cannot think about this without getting upset. I'm an emotional girl...this is something I don't want to think about more than a rational, realistic person.

On to the next #Trust30 prompt.

Life has been absolutely insane this past month. I left my job at RIM, I temporarily moved to Wasaga Beach for 3 weeks living in a hotel room. Within the first week I was hired and have been working part time since. Last weekend we moved into our new place. (It was an expensive move but so worth it...way less stress when someone else moves your belongings!).

I've been coping really well for the most part. This is the first town I've lived in that I have no family or no knowledge of the town/city itself. I do miss my lab colleagues and friends from k/w. BUT I also knew this move would be good for us. Good for our marriage and for each others career life too. I've scored a great job that is unique and huge potential for growth. Kevin is working for a fantastic radio station here in town with colleagues who take such good care of him (and even me. We got to go paintballing and laser questing two weeks ago with Kevin's colleagues!) Our new place is around the corner from work..for both of us since we work in the same building! (Across the hall from each other and my boss owns the building!).

A few weird things about Wasaga - the town is 22km long and 2 km wide with no "downtown". Cops are everywhere in this town so speeding is a big no, no! There are rumble strips down the length of the town (why?) and I have never heard as many sirens as I do here. (I've heard that it's due to the amount of senior citizens that live here).

Kevin and I have been married now for over 4 months. I can't believe where the time has gone and how much we have gone through since the wedding, it's crazy! One thing we learned in marriage counseling was that we have the same personality which comes in handy because we know what makes each other tick but it also means we are both bad at cutting ourselves slack. This is something we are definitely working on! We're still a mushy as ever though! :P

We also bought a puppy. A stuffed puppy and his name is Mo. We are such kids at heart! :)

This is life right now. It's a great life even with the sudden changes because my man is in my corner and I am in his always!

This has been on my mind for a couple days now and I hope my man won't mind me talking about this but...tonight we are going out with a friend of his (who through twitter I am becoming friends with) and her fiance. What I teased Kevin about and I will no longer, is that this friend he did date at one time before me. The sweetheart said he would cancel if it would be awkward for me. I'm been thinking about it. It doesn't, I'm actually excited to meet her since we get along so well on twitter.

First of all, Kevin and I have deep trust for each other. Secondly, we are married. I have nothing to worry about. Also, Kevin and I talk...about everything. It'd be different if she was 1)single and 2) she was going behind my back to see Kevin. This is not the case at all. But I am not going to lie, both of us girls will be probably size each other up. It's just the way ladies roll. :P
These are things I never anticipated myself thinking about. Analyzing. Finding out where I stand on certain issues. But here I am continuously learning about myself and growing deeper in relationship with Kevin which is creating a wonderful marriage.

Last night Kevin and I decided to catch a movie and one that has been catching a lot of Oscar buzz - "Black Swan". I agreed to see this because I like psychological thrillers for the most part and well I also wanted to know what the buzz was all about.

I cried.

There was a moment near the last quarter of the movie that freaked me out so much that I just started to heave with sobs. And as the movie continued with some disturbing scenes and the intensity had me seized in my seat clutching to Kevin. It took sweet words and tenderness from Kev to get me calmed down. The only other movie that got me so worked up was "Lovely Bones".

Confession: I have a very tender heart and soul. I grew up very sheltered and not exposed to movies that included sex, swearing or were scary/demonic.I kick myself sometimes for being so sensitive in mind/soul/heart and felt like a fool for crying but at the same time it's a good sign the movie is good...I got sucked in. I feel for the characters; empathize. I don't regret seeing this movie, it's definitely Oscar worthy especially Natalie Portman's acting ability!

When we got home (aka the resort) from the movies we through on something light - American Idol. So much for light! The last man to audition made me curl up into Kevin and cry. If you saw the epi you would understand and apparently/thankfully I wasn't the only one to tear up!

I love that my life is filled with learning more about myself and how blessed I am!

Mushu's Chili recipe:

2lb ground beef (while cooking mix in minced garlic, salt & pepper)
1 green bell pepper
1 red bell pepper
1 medium yellow onion
2 heaping tsp of chili powder
2 heaping tbsp of pureed chili peppers
2 heaping tsp of minced garlic
1 med can of chunky tomatoes
1 med can of tomato sauce
1 med can of kidney beans
1 med can of chick peas
1 cup of water

I had to split the chili in two as my crockpot was too small BUT the first portion turned out awesome with the right amount of kick! :)

I can't wait to try more recipes to fill the tummy of me and my man!

My last week of work wasn't the greatest. Actually I should clarify. Work was fine but me? Not so much. I had the worst case of IBS which caused me to miss work on Wednesday and feel like crap (pun intended) all week and I hardly ate a thing all week. Maybe it was partially nerves, I'll never know except that I am much better now! (Finally had a burger today!)

Our weekends plans changed and Kevin and I ended up in Port Stanley for a good chunk of the weekend. My sister has my car for the next couple of weeks so she's excited!

Sunday evening we arrived in Wasaga Beach after a 4 hr drive and a few detours (GPS suck sometimes and paper maps don't always show curves in roads!). It was -24 when we got here. My nose hairs froze on contact of stepping out of the car. :P

This morning I got up with Kevin at 4am, he went off to work while I watched BT and listened to his show for a bit then went back to bed. Later in the morning I went to the resort's lobby for some coffee and ended up chatting with a manager for 40mins. People are so nice here!

Our temporary place in Wasaga is the "Saga Resort":
Right now I do believe we are the only guests, weekends are their busy time in the winter. It's really nice though and management loves how tidy we are! (We have a full kitchen in our room, it's awesome and access to an outdoor hot tub!)

This afternoon I'm off to a meeting about a possible job! It's only p/t but it will be a nice change of pace for me!

Stay tuned for more 'Saga adventures!

So it's officially been announced to family, friends and colleagues. Kevin got a promotion/transfer to the radio station in Wasaga Beach - 97.7 The Beach which means I have quit my job (next Friday is my last day) and we are moving up there by mid-February. I'm excited!!

During the Christmas holidays I was a mix bag of emotions and my eyes kept eking out randomly even on New Years eve at one point. I was upset about the change again in our lives as we were barely getting settled in Goderich. I thought we would be settling for a long time in that town.

What do about my job? Do I stay somewhere in k/w during the week then go to Wasaga on weekends?

Plus the commute. It was killing me on so many levels. Mornings took me 2 hrs to get i Kevin went above and beyond with making me breakfast, packing my lunch, handing me a coffee on the way out the door and making dinner at night. Amazing I know! And not really fair. (Even if begs to disagree). At night I'd be zonked by 9pm and need to go to bed. Not so much fun....

So the decision. For the sake of my sanity/health and for our marriage I made the call (with lots of discussion) to give my notice and find other work/apply for ei. A giant weight fell off my shoulders immediately after this decision was made.

Here we sit. After this weekend I will be staying in Waterloo at a friends for a week while Kevin starts his new job in Wasaga. Not ideal but it's temporary and no long commute for me!

Now I am really excited about the move, finding a new place, fav hangouts, best places for pizza, ice cream...sushi. I can't wait for next week to be over so I can be with my honey every day again with more energy and a more balanced life! (I have one bit on a job so far, phone interview tomorrow morning)

I haven't blogged in over a year. |Wow, where has this year gone?

I'm a married woman now to the most amazing man in the world:
October 16th we were wed in front of family and friends, it was a beautiful day filled with love and laughter, just the way we wanted it to be! I can't believe that day has come and gone....it's been over 11 weeks but in a way it still feels like yesterday.

Confessions:
I am not used to being called wife but it's growing on me
I love my new last name so much
Being together feels like the most natural thing in the world
I never thought I'd be that girl...the one who has to be with her man. I can't get enough of Kevin

This year is starting on a relaxing note but with big changes coming very quickly. (No I am not preggers but I cannot spill the beans quite yet). I'm nervous, anxious yet excited for the adventures ahead!

I hope to blog more this year but please feel free to follow me on twitter.com, my handle is @uptowngirl

Until next time...

I kind of dropped this blog for various reasons. And since my mom decided to nag me about it during Christmas I decided to at least post something! 2009 has been an incredible year for me!

I went from a really horrible yet growing year in 2008 to the best year of my life in 2009. From struggling for work/social status/identity to an insane summer of new friends, crazy adventures, relaxing holidays, switched to days at work and...the best part of the year - meeting Kevin. I wasn't exactly looking to start a relationship... but I was. I was tired of my friends taking off on dates and my sister constantly being out with her boyfriend so I gave a couple websites a try. I was honest in my profiles and well, Kevin and I started talking at the beginning of September and here we are now - happily in love!! What an incredible part of life this is!! All I can say is it's beautiful and I hope it never ends!!!

I maybe back to post in the future especially with how slow life becomes in the winter months...

You'd think I was still in the book industry by this sudden rant:

I’m so sick and tired of seeing books about such unrealistic lives! I know that fiction is supposed to be an “escape” from the real world but for once it’d be nice to come across a book I could relate to and be encouraged by that which isn’t strictly a spiritual growth book.

I want a book written about the struggles a normal mid-twenties Christian woman goes through. The struggles of finding a network of friends, dealing with changes in friendships and relationships, being single in today’s world, maturing as a believer in Christ. Would anyone read it?

Would anyone want to read about how finding a new church in a new city changed my life? That I’ve never experience such spiritual growth and personality changes so much in the past 5 years? Or that it took me 4 years to really build any kind of network of friends?

I guess it didn't help I was reading a blog earlier which the blogger was doing reviews on books.

Anyways, this is all I got at the moment. Back to work!

I wish I had recorded on here all the awesome sauce things that I've done this summer because seriously, I think it's been the best summer of my life! I'm not trying to be melodramatic but it's true. (Especially compared to my circumstances last year at this time).

I have friends! Friends who call ME to hang out. Friends who get me out doing things I've not done before, gone places I've never been to before. Random road trips, late night chats, friendly mole competition, movie nights, etc. It's nice to have so many awesome people in my life!!

This has been a summer of immense change yet again. Coming to terms (previous posts) with the change in relationship with my sister because she found the love of her life. THIS has been the most challenging. Our lives have become quite separate in some ways but we're learning to deal with the change.

Along the same lines I've begun to find out that boys don't have cooties! :P Well more or less that I'm allowed to find guys attractive and flirt with them. (Lack of self-confidence for so many years). I'm allowed to have a crush even if it isn't going anywhere. This is the first job I've had in a long time that I'm surrounded with a number of people in my age bracket and that are boys! I seriously think I missed being a teenager!

Also, addicted to my blackberry. Just saying. Access to the internet 24/7? Dangerous! Oh and Torrid is my new fav store! (Can we say shopping in the states twice in 3 weeks?)

Sad side note: Please pray for my dad. Yesterday we found out another friend of his died last week, Paul. Paul was an amazing artist and one of the first people that befriended my dad when he moved to Port. My dad is angry and I can't say I don't blame him. How many people in his life have to keep dying? It seems so unfair and I don't know what to tell him except I love him.