I'm flat broke. I can't pay my bills. My sister (who is also jobless and recently returned from Africa) has bailed me out twice now. Currently I have only been able to find a part-time job which only makes me $10/hr and only hitting a max of 20 hrs a week.
I had an interview today for a night shift job (yes, I'm that desperate because it pays well) and I won't find out until Nov 15ish if I got it or not. Between now and then I have car payments, insurance, rent, cell phone and credit card bills. The $ I make between now and then will barely touch it.
I was laid off a job where I was making enough money to pay all my bills plus a tiny extra.
I cannot sell my car - it is an asset as well as cuts possible jobs in half. (Seriously, I've been down this road before). And it still has 1.5 years of payments on it.
After 4 years at a company - it got me no where resume wise apparently. I'm back to freaking square one and entry level positions which make a quarter past min. wage if I'm lucky.
Back in July i had a job at a roofing company but I had to leave. I don't regret leaving. I left feeling that God would provide for me...
I'm hurting. Nothing has changed in the past 2+ months. I have no frick'n concept of where God is taking me and I'm tired of feeling like this. Financially I was fine during the first 5 months of being laid off but that was because I was working stupid temp jobs.
I DON'T GET IT. For my entire life, life has never been easy. Not for me, not for my sisters and especially not for my parents. Money has always been a problem. (Let's not forget my dad losing 2 sisters, his father and a friend in the past 4 years) Why is it that some people get amazing jobs and have it so good? Why must me and my family constantly struggle? (Don't even try to tell me it's just to build character).
I'm depressed and sleeping at least 9 hours a night and still wanting more.
I bawled again today knowing that I don't have money and finding a job in a few weeks just isn't going to happen. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't buy groceries to eat, I can't put gas in the car (I take the bus to my pt job), I can't get my hair cut which it's been 10 months, I can't pay for the pills I need for my PCOS, I can't afford to even make payments to my sponsor child.
What the HELL am I supposed to do? Where is God in all of this? Why can't I hear Him or see Him directing me? I'm sick of hearing that "God has a better job for you, be patient.".
Pray for me, pray for my sister who needs a job as well. Pray that my parents store will make it through the winter. Pray that my parents will fix their relationship. Pray that God will reveal to me His provisions. Pray that in a couple years I will look back and see what a growing experience this was for me. Pray that a good job does come along for me.
M - I am praying, and feel your hurt...