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My adventures in life!

A life lived in love will never be dull.

- Leo Buscaglia

this ain't right

I have just spent the last 4 hours crying on and off. Random sobs. I have/had no plans tonight and I have the downstairs apartment to myself. I can't stop crying.

Maybe it's because I'm hurt. Maybe I'm grieving deaths. Death of a crush, death of things that have been and no longer will be? Change in relationships. The loneliness actually does exist. Not feeling wanted or appreciated for who I am. Being left out. Standing on the outside looking in wondering how I missed out when I was younger. I want to throw chickflicks out the window. I don't want to watch movie stars make out. I don't want to hear songs about what girl some guy wants to bang next.

Until now I've never understood what loneliness felt like. I get it now. Wow. I haven't felt this out of "whack" since my journey last year. I didn't realize how much the "want" of being "wanted" can be so hard to give up control on.



I reached out to a friend over msn and I'm doing much better now. Bring reminded that God loves me! I am beautiful! He is in control and not me. I need to take risks..
Read More 3 comments | Posted by Michelle | edit post

3 comments

  1. Tuneman on 10:21 PM

    Hang in - hang on

     
  2. Shucker on 10:38 PM

    I have an auto-loading Starbucks card anytime you wanna help put a dent in it. :)

     
  3. Michelle on 1:01 AM

    Thanks guys! Life is just one crazy journey with random challenging pathways and apparently I'm on one of them now!
    Also, thanks for reading my blog...I feel that blogging is going the way of..the discman.

     


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