I'm really struggling right now more than I'm willing to admit to except for a few. Work is great, church is good, my life is super busy and I love it!

BUT

There's always a but.

I'm hurting a bit right now for reasons I created in my own mind. One-way crushes are never healthy! Lesson learned for the zillionth time! But on top of that is the changes that have happened around me. It's not just envy. It's just change I didn't expect to happen even though I've prayed about it for so long. Disappointment that it isn't happening to me.

How selfish of me to forget who's hands my life are in! Who gave me my very life! I want something that apparently isn't meant for me right now. I gave up those rights.

"...for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm"
(Casting Crowns)

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