Kevin is currently watching a made for tv movie which is slightly too suspenseful for me. But watching parts of it got me thinking again. Thinking about writing. (The main character is an author struggling with writer's block by the way). By no means do I think myself a linguist but at times I feel like I have a lot to say. Maybe I need to just stick to blogging that has a very limited audience. I don't think I am smart enough to write fiction, I've always been one more for person reflection and growth. Who wants to read yet another self help book? And what story do I really have to tell? Or am I sitting (figuratively) on a story of which I am just no aware of yet?

I read a lot (especially lately). I love search-word puzzles. I love to type. I used to write poetry. Actually I still do...sort of. It's more descriptive paragraphs but I do. The latest is definitely one written so mushy it is only for my hubby's eye's at the moment!

So what is my story? And how is it different than many other stories already been told? A girl born and raised in the country, goes off to College, graduates, moves to a big tri-city, after a good chunk of years meets the man of her dreams and gets married? There is a lot more "meat" between those milestones though. Great joy and sorrow. Cancer. Family drama. Spirituality. Conflict. Identity crisis.

There are a lot of things I feel like I missed learning about growing up. Education which to me would be deemed necessary to know in life. I don't blame parents, I don't really blame anyone. Circumstance, tradition, location. They all played a part in who I am today and as time moves on, I keep changing.

I don't know if I need to explore this or just blog once in a while to get it off my chest?

Do I have a story worth telling?

I've had a lot of time off work lately which means I have more time on my hands. What do with that time besides the regular dishes and cooking, reading of course! I have read more books in the past 3 months then I have in the past 4 years.

Back story. I grew up in a Christian bubble. I only read Christian material. (Ok, so I read the odd bodice ripper in high school, curiosity!). For 4 years I worked in the Christian book market. I stopped reading for a long time due to life just happening. I was always lost in libraries unless I could find a Christian author.

Here I am today. Thanks to a new friend and just pulling random books from the shelves I have discovered a love for different genres, finding authors I dig. I always felt guilty for reading non-Christian books for years but I've changed. (Plus, to be honest, there is a lot of Christian books that are just fluff or super unrealistic but that's a whole other rant!).

This morning I just put down a book I tore thru in the past two days.

The Last Letters from Your Lover
It's a romantic story that spans 40 years, a couple who fell in love but lost connection through life changes, heart ache, circumstances and society. It's beautiful, and the story is woven so well that it makes you keep flipping to the next page. A few tears streamed down my face at the end, such a sweet ending. Only side note: pay attention to the dates at the beginning of the chapters especially in part 1. I hope to read more books from this author!










Other books I have enjoyed to my surprise:
Divergent
This is a young adults read so not something I would normally pick up. Thanks to a new friend of mine, she has me hooked and wanting more books in this genre - Dystopian.
An easy read with a great story about the journey of a young female choosing her destiny. Lots of actions, emotions, sweet moments and also a girl kick'n butt which I love!
Unfortunately I think I have to wait until next year for the next book from this author! This also means I need to get reading the Hunger Games but the waiting list at the Library is insane!









Another author I am digging is Janet Evanovich! I have tore thru the two books I had of hers and I'm hoping to pick up some more today.

Here's to more great reads!! (And random book pulling from the shelves!) :D

Lately I have been reading some marriage blogs. Hey, I'm a newlywed, I need advice! Not just because we didn't get a whole lot of premarital counselling but because of the lack of guidance/examples in my life. (That's changing though, becoming friends with couples
who have been married a lot longer then us).

A big topic in our lives is birth control/family planning. I am on the pill and have to be
due to my PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome). So in a way I'm helping my issue and also not
getting pregnant (also PCOS means I may not even be able to have kids, talk about complicated).
I found a blog post today on birth control methods. Yes the blog was from a Christian
women and author so it's a tad religious but she was honestly laying out birth control
options for couples. But the comments? WOW. Women angry that couples don't consider using
"God" as birth control. That it's up to Him to bless you with or without a child. This angers
me so much!! I have a good friend who cannot conceive and it's hurting her. It has nothing
to do with her faith but with hormonal and other issues going on in her body. It's not God
punishing her for some sin or anything. Biology has a lot to play in this picture. Who knows
what the future has in store? A healthy hormonal body, a child in a couple years, adoption,
etc. Who are we to know except have trust in God with our heart's desire such as having a child.

I also find this irresponsible using "God" as a contraceptive. Some couples may not
want children for various reasons (too many to get in to) and they shouldn't be judged. We
are also living in a very unstable world right now! Life has changed so much since our parents
had us - many people getting married later in life, having careers over getting married or
just finding love late in life. I know there is never a perfect time to have a child but
I think having a bit of a plan, putting away funds would make life a lot easier if a child
does come along. I remember my parents raising 4 girls, the struggles, the hand me downs, the
stress of making sure food is on the table. Maybe some of us don't want to put a child
through that.

Right now I am on the fence. Maybe a child down the road maybe not. My body may not even
be able to carry a child. I'm not ready to make the decision right now. Kevin's career
moves him around a lot, I'm currently unemployed. Not a smart time to have a child! (Don't
read into this, I am so no even ready to think about popping one out! :P)

A side note: Sex is more than procreation!! (I could RANT about this so much!) I knew someone
once who told me sex was for the man and baby making, that's it. *sigh* Talk about an unhealthy
understanding of the role sex plays in marriage! (Which sadly has a lot to due with lack of education at home and from the church)

Everyone has their beliefs, I get that but forcing it on others?! I don't agree with that.
Explaining your beliefs is fine too but don't get angry! Think a little about the struggles
some others may be going through. Be sensitive! Some people can't just have a baby.

I am very happy I don't have pressure from neither my parents or in-laws. I also go to a church that doesn't judge me for not having a child as soon as we were married. I'm fortunate!

I think I'm done ranting...for now! :P

I know it's been a long time since I blogged - so much has happened in the past year it's almost unbelievable!

In the past 6 months or so my hubby has started to look for other work. We thought we had an in to a job in Yellowknife. Yup, I said it. Yellowknife. Both sets of parents were supportive. I was conflicted. We got word last week that the job is officially off the table (position changed). I am mixed about it - I was scared but also looking forward to an adventure. Door closed.

Today another door was pushed open...again but we said no. It was the possibility of going back to Goderich. We love that town but for our own well being, it wouldn't be the right choice. Financially, professionally and economically. Our favourite spots in town are gone, the town is suffering while they recover from the tornado damage... it wouldn't be the same. Plus I wouldn't be able to find work! (Tried last year around this time, it was impossible). Definitely confirmation that we made the right choice moving to Wasaga. Plus apparently Kevin's boss gave him the giant sad puppy eyes asking him to please stay! :P

While I am tucking my hubby in for his daily nap we got talking about the future. If we had made the right decisions. That I should have more faith that I will find a better job. (The resort I work at is in shoulder season - I've been off work for 2 weeks). Both of us tired of being tight on money all the time. Kevin has more faith then I do and I was just about to say that I wish I had his faith when the phone rang.

Friends of ours (new friends who we really love hanging out with) called asking if we needed any help at all with me being out of work lately. I almost cried. We came into their minds so they just called us up. My respect and love for this couple just grew huge!

To me this is God giving me a big wave reminding me the He is right here and always will be. That I need to stop doubting, to stop expecting the worst. I know that God gives us the desire of our heart*, I just need to learn to be patient!



*Desires of our heart? God knew deep down I wanted to find the love of my life and get married. He granted that and unexpectedly. He can do that for my career too I am sure! :)

Your genuine action will explain itself, and will explain your other genuine actions. Your conformity explains nothing. The force of character is cumulative. – Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

If ‘the voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tacks,’ then it is more genuine to be present today than to recount yesterdays. How would you describe today using only one sentence? Tell today’s sentence to one other person. Repeat each day.

(Author: Liz Danzico)

RESPONSE:

My day started out anxiously and ended happy with the smell of the beach still lingering on my skin!

You just discovered you have fifteen minutes to live.

1. Set a timer for fifteen minutes.
2. Write the story that has to be written.

(Author: Gwen Bell)

RESPONSE:

I would grab Kevin, run to the beach and watch the sunset. We'd sit on a blanket, holding hands, and affirming our love for each other. I'd have my last taste of chocolate. There would be tears, a lot of tears. A longing of not wanting to let go, to pinch myself that it wasn't true. 15 minutes is not enough time to say goodbye to my husband let alone my family and friends...*sniffles*

--------

I don't want this to happen, I don't want to know. And I cannot think about this without getting upset. I'm an emotional girl...this is something I don't want to think about more than a rational, realistic person.

On to the next #Trust30 prompt.

Life has been absolutely insane this past month. I left my job at RIM, I temporarily moved to Wasaga Beach for 3 weeks living in a hotel room. Within the first week I was hired and have been working part time since. Last weekend we moved into our new place. (It was an expensive move but so worth it...way less stress when someone else moves your belongings!).

I've been coping really well for the most part. This is the first town I've lived in that I have no family or no knowledge of the town/city itself. I do miss my lab colleagues and friends from k/w. BUT I also knew this move would be good for us. Good for our marriage and for each others career life too. I've scored a great job that is unique and huge potential for growth. Kevin is working for a fantastic radio station here in town with colleagues who take such good care of him (and even me. We got to go paintballing and laser questing two weeks ago with Kevin's colleagues!) Our new place is around the corner from work..for both of us since we work in the same building! (Across the hall from each other and my boss owns the building!).

A few weird things about Wasaga - the town is 22km long and 2 km wide with no "downtown". Cops are everywhere in this town so speeding is a big no, no! There are rumble strips down the length of the town (why?) and I have never heard as many sirens as I do here. (I've heard that it's due to the amount of senior citizens that live here).

Kevin and I have been married now for over 4 months. I can't believe where the time has gone and how much we have gone through since the wedding, it's crazy! One thing we learned in marriage counseling was that we have the same personality which comes in handy because we know what makes each other tick but it also means we are both bad at cutting ourselves slack. This is something we are definitely working on! We're still a mushy as ever though! :P

We also bought a puppy. A stuffed puppy and his name is Mo. We are such kids at heart! :)

This is life right now. It's a great life even with the sudden changes because my man is in my corner and I am in his always!

This has been on my mind for a couple days now and I hope my man won't mind me talking about this but...tonight we are going out with a friend of his (who through twitter I am becoming friends with) and her fiance. What I teased Kevin about and I will no longer, is that this friend he did date at one time before me. The sweetheart said he would cancel if it would be awkward for me. I'm been thinking about it. It doesn't, I'm actually excited to meet her since we get along so well on twitter.

First of all, Kevin and I have deep trust for each other. Secondly, we are married. I have nothing to worry about. Also, Kevin and I talk...about everything. It'd be different if she was 1)single and 2) she was going behind my back to see Kevin. This is not the case at all. But I am not going to lie, both of us girls will be probably size each other up. It's just the way ladies roll. :P
These are things I never anticipated myself thinking about. Analyzing. Finding out where I stand on certain issues. But here I am continuously learning about myself and growing deeper in relationship with Kevin which is creating a wonderful marriage.

Last night Kevin and I decided to catch a movie and one that has been catching a lot of Oscar buzz - "Black Swan". I agreed to see this because I like psychological thrillers for the most part and well I also wanted to know what the buzz was all about.

I cried.

There was a moment near the last quarter of the movie that freaked me out so much that I just started to heave with sobs. And as the movie continued with some disturbing scenes and the intensity had me seized in my seat clutching to Kevin. It took sweet words and tenderness from Kev to get me calmed down. The only other movie that got me so worked up was "Lovely Bones".

Confession: I have a very tender heart and soul. I grew up very sheltered and not exposed to movies that included sex, swearing or were scary/demonic.I kick myself sometimes for being so sensitive in mind/soul/heart and felt like a fool for crying but at the same time it's a good sign the movie is good...I got sucked in. I feel for the characters; empathize. I don't regret seeing this movie, it's definitely Oscar worthy especially Natalie Portman's acting ability!

When we got home (aka the resort) from the movies we through on something light - American Idol. So much for light! The last man to audition made me curl up into Kevin and cry. If you saw the epi you would understand and apparently/thankfully I wasn't the only one to tear up!

I love that my life is filled with learning more about myself and how blessed I am!

Mushu's Chili recipe:

2lb ground beef (while cooking mix in minced garlic, salt & pepper)
1 green bell pepper
1 red bell pepper
1 medium yellow onion
2 heaping tsp of chili powder
2 heaping tbsp of pureed chili peppers
2 heaping tsp of minced garlic
1 med can of chunky tomatoes
1 med can of tomato sauce
1 med can of kidney beans
1 med can of chick peas
1 cup of water

I had to split the chili in two as my crockpot was too small BUT the first portion turned out awesome with the right amount of kick! :)

I can't wait to try more recipes to fill the tummy of me and my man!

My last week of work wasn't the greatest. Actually I should clarify. Work was fine but me? Not so much. I had the worst case of IBS which caused me to miss work on Wednesday and feel like crap (pun intended) all week and I hardly ate a thing all week. Maybe it was partially nerves, I'll never know except that I am much better now! (Finally had a burger today!)

Our weekends plans changed and Kevin and I ended up in Port Stanley for a good chunk of the weekend. My sister has my car for the next couple of weeks so she's excited!

Sunday evening we arrived in Wasaga Beach after a 4 hr drive and a few detours (GPS suck sometimes and paper maps don't always show curves in roads!). It was -24 when we got here. My nose hairs froze on contact of stepping out of the car. :P

This morning I got up with Kevin at 4am, he went off to work while I watched BT and listened to his show for a bit then went back to bed. Later in the morning I went to the resort's lobby for some coffee and ended up chatting with a manager for 40mins. People are so nice here!

Our temporary place in Wasaga is the "Saga Resort":
Right now I do believe we are the only guests, weekends are their busy time in the winter. It's really nice though and management loves how tidy we are! (We have a full kitchen in our room, it's awesome and access to an outdoor hot tub!)

This afternoon I'm off to a meeting about a possible job! It's only p/t but it will be a nice change of pace for me!

Stay tuned for more 'Saga adventures!

So it's officially been announced to family, friends and colleagues. Kevin got a promotion/transfer to the radio station in Wasaga Beach - 97.7 The Beach which means I have quit my job (next Friday is my last day) and we are moving up there by mid-February. I'm excited!!

During the Christmas holidays I was a mix bag of emotions and my eyes kept eking out randomly even on New Years eve at one point. I was upset about the change again in our lives as we were barely getting settled in Goderich. I thought we would be settling for a long time in that town.

What do about my job? Do I stay somewhere in k/w during the week then go to Wasaga on weekends?

Plus the commute. It was killing me on so many levels. Mornings took me 2 hrs to get i Kevin went above and beyond with making me breakfast, packing my lunch, handing me a coffee on the way out the door and making dinner at night. Amazing I know! And not really fair. (Even if begs to disagree). At night I'd be zonked by 9pm and need to go to bed. Not so much fun....

So the decision. For the sake of my sanity/health and for our marriage I made the call (with lots of discussion) to give my notice and find other work/apply for ei. A giant weight fell off my shoulders immediately after this decision was made.

Here we sit. After this weekend I will be staying in Waterloo at a friends for a week while Kevin starts his new job in Wasaga. Not ideal but it's temporary and no long commute for me!

Now I am really excited about the move, finding a new place, fav hangouts, best places for pizza, ice cream...sushi. I can't wait for next week to be over so I can be with my honey every day again with more energy and a more balanced life! (I have one bit on a job so far, phone interview tomorrow morning)

I haven't blogged in over a year. |Wow, where has this year gone?

I'm a married woman now to the most amazing man in the world:
October 16th we were wed in front of family and friends, it was a beautiful day filled with love and laughter, just the way we wanted it to be! I can't believe that day has come and gone....it's been over 11 weeks but in a way it still feels like yesterday.

Confessions:
I am not used to being called wife but it's growing on me
I love my new last name so much
Being together feels like the most natural thing in the world
I never thought I'd be that girl...the one who has to be with her man. I can't get enough of Kevin

This year is starting on a relaxing note but with big changes coming very quickly. (No I am not preggers but I cannot spill the beans quite yet). I'm nervous, anxious yet excited for the adventures ahead!

I hope to blog more this year but please feel free to follow me on twitter.com, my handle is @uptowngirl

Until next time...