I am absolutely blown away. Posting that blog entry on October 18th changed everything.

I have amazing friends and family. I never expected this and I'm humbled.

Thank you.

A little "birdy" told me (wow, I sound like my mother) that my latest blog post had been sent to all my former colleagues.

Hi RGM Family!

My life has changed again so much in just a few short days.

I'm now working another part time job at the RGM store in K-town. How strange is that? I miss working in the book industry and being in the know about upcoming fiction books. I miss ARCs. Being at the store brings back so many memories too. In some ways I feel reconnected again. (I heart books, what can I say?)

I have a possibe job offer waiting for me. I won't say much more because it's not final, final. It's not a great job but it pays well and will help me get back on my feet. (And not to mention getting back on my PCOS meds, getting a hair cut and getting new tires for my car). Please pray that the final steps for this job offer go through fine. I need this.

Amazing what God can do in so little time after such a long, long struggle. Trusting God is not easy. Honestly giving the entire situation up to Him is easier said than done. Being stuck in cycles of lessons not being learned is emotionally draining. There is no right prayer to say, there is no right song to sing or word to speak. Let Him have it. Tell Him exactly how you feel. Stomp your feet, yell if you have to. (Been there and done that). Rest in Him but seek out support from those around you. Hang out with friends, go for coffee, talk to your Pastor, blog about it (:P), help others out that are in need, call a friend, visit family and just be honest.

My life is far from figured out. My career life is far from being figured out. I still have more questions than answers to where God is leading. I'm really not going to know, there is no arrival. Time flies and I don't want to miss out on any of it.

I'm going to be extremely vulnerable and honest with this post, you are officially warned.

I'm flat broke. I can't pay my bills. My sister (who is also jobless and recently returned from Africa) has bailed me out twice now. Currently I have only been able to find a part-time job which only makes me $10/hr and only hitting a max of 20 hrs a week.

I had an interview today for a night shift job (yes, I'm that desperate because it pays well) and I won't find out until Nov 15ish if I got it or not. Between now and then I have car payments, insurance, rent, cell phone and credit card bills. The $ I make between now and then will barely touch it.

I was laid off a job where I was making enough money to pay all my bills plus a tiny extra.

I cannot sell my car - it is an asset as well as cuts possible jobs in half. (Seriously, I've been down this road before). And it still has 1.5 years of payments on it.

After 4 years at a company - it got me no where resume wise apparently. I'm back to freaking square one and entry level positions which make a quarter past min. wage if I'm lucky.

Back in July i had a job at a roofing company but I had to leave. I don't regret leaving. I left feeling that God would provide for me...

I'm hurting. Nothing has changed in the past 2+ months. I have no frick'n concept of where God is taking me and I'm tired of feeling like this. Financially I was fine during the first 5 months of being laid off but that was because I was working stupid temp jobs.

I DON'T GET IT. For my entire life, life has never been easy. Not for me, not for my sisters and especially not for my parents. Money has always been a problem. (Let's not forget my dad losing 2 sisters, his father and a friend in the past 4 years) Why is it that some people get amazing jobs and have it so good? Why must me and my family constantly struggle? (Don't even try to tell me it's just to build character).

I'm depressed and sleeping at least 9 hours a night and still wanting more.

I bawled again today knowing that I don't have money and finding a job in a few weeks just isn't going to happen. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't buy groceries to eat, I can't put gas in the car (I take the bus to my pt job), I can't get my hair cut which it's been 10 months, I can't pay for the pills I need for my PCOS, I can't afford to even make payments to my sponsor child.

What the HELL am I supposed to do? Where is God in all of this? Why can't I hear Him or see Him directing me? I'm sick of hearing that "God has a better job for you, be patient.".

Pray for me, pray for my sister who needs a job as well. Pray that my parents store will make it through the winter. Pray that my parents will fix their relationship. Pray that God will reveal to me His provisions. Pray that in a couple years I will look back and see what a growing experience this was for me. Pray that a good job does come along for me.

or at least when they are around.

HoneyCrisp apples

Seriously my favourite apple! Unfortunately they are only around for 3-4 weeks. :( This is my description of said apple - mix the sweetness of a macintosh and add a slice of a granny smith which equals delish!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honeycrisp

Okay, this really got my goat tonight.








Guitar Praise? Have you got to be kidding me?

And to quote from the website:
"The lyrics are appropriate for all ages so friends and family can sing along as you shred. "
(Shred?? Some of the songs are from Chris Tomlin! Seriously)

Some Christians need to get their heads examined. Why do you have to copy everything mainstream? Can we ever be inventive?

I have nothing else to say about this except LAME.

Funny story. Well maybe not quite BUT it's interesting anyways.

So tonight a couple of friends decided to go to a local church girl's night out (http://www.gnolive.ca/) at a local church. Sounds great. Doors open at 7pm and the show starts at 7:30pm. We'll aim to be there just after 7.

First problem. No parking. 4 blocks later and crammed along a side street the car is parked.

Second problem. It's freezing cold and I didn't bring a jacket. Um, wait, that's my problem.

Third problem. It's 7:10pm and the doors to the church are locked. Why you ask? 390+ women are already in the building and it's hitting the fire hazard restrictions. Yup. No lie. The doorman locked the doors and wouldn't not let anyone else in. The line outside the doors? At least 100 strong. There were women there that drove over an hour to come. Some took the night off, other's had to get sitters. We were turned away with craptacular excuses.

This was a free event but you needed a ticket. They printed waaayy more tickets than seating available. At least 150 more tickets. They blamed Mitchell Family Books for having tickets and with going bankrupt there was no way of knowing how many were given away. POOR excuse. The stores are still open, go and ask!

I wasn't really ticked, I live 15 minutes away. I feel so sorry for the older ladies who were freaking ticked and were vocal about it.

Next year? Good luck getting a great turnout because after how this was handled? You're going to have a hord of angry, church-going ladies to sooth over!

I never thought I'd post something like this or admit to it but here goes.

I miss taking the bus.

Why?

The simplicity. Reminds me of easier times in my life. No stress of parking, dealing with moronic drivers or in general taking care of a vehicle.

Riding the bus gives me time to let my mind wander and rest. To think about my day and the future. To pray for a few moments or just sing along to my iPod (well maybe during the walk to the stop :P).

I'm enjoying the time right now taking it* but the novelty will wear off again quite quickly I'm sure. (Seriously, can buses ever be on time?!)

*I take the bus to my p/t job at the university. I still have my "baby" but it's cheaper to hop the bus right now then to pay for parking and gas.